There are many times when your child’s behavior warms and embraces your heart. But, there are other times when it probably drives you a little crazy. As a toddler or preschooler, your child may lack the self-control to express anger peacefully and may naturally lash out, perhaps hitting or biting in frustration.
While occasional outbursts are normal―especially during temper tantrums―there are things you can do to shape your child’s behavior.
- Teach the house rules.Children don’t know the rules of the house until they’re taught them, so that is one of your important parenting responsibilities. Toddlers are normally interested in touching and exploring, so if there are valuables you don’t want them to handle, hide or remove them. Consider setting up a separate portion of your home where your child can play with books and toys. Whenever children break an important rule, they should be reprimanded immediately to understand exactly what they have done wrong.
- Threats are over-rated. It is always more effective to positively reinforce desired behaviors and to teach children alternative behaviors rather than just say, “Stop it or else.” Tell them that the next time they are angry, they should use their words instead.
- Enter healthy distractions.While teaching your child other ways to respond, there’s also nothing wrong with distracting him at times or trying another approach. As long as you’re not “bribing” him to behave differently by offering sweet snacks. For example, there’s nothing wrong with intentionally changing his focus.
- “Control yourself.”Well, they can’t yet. Remember, toddlers have little natural self-control. They need you to teach them not to kick, hit, or bite when they are angry, but instead to express their feelings through words.
- “We don’t hurt each other.” Supervise your child carefully when she is involved in disputes with playmates. If a disagreement is minor, keep your distance and let the children solve it on their own. However, you must intervene when children get into a physical fight that continues even after they’re told to stop, or when one child seems to be in an uncontrollable rage and is assaulting or biting the other. Pull the children apart and keep them separate until they have calmed down. If the fight is extremely violent, you may have to end the play session. Make it clear that it doesn’t matter who “started it.” There is no excuse for trying to hurt each other.
Last Updated 12/5/2018
Source Adapted from Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5, 6th Edition (Copyright © 2015 American Academy of Pediatrics)
The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.
