- Instead of fighting. Teach your child to say “no” in a firm tone of voice, to turn his back, or to find compromises instead of fighting with his body. Through example, you are teaching your child to settle differences with words—more effective and more civilized—than with physical violence.
- “Great job!”Praise your child for appropriate behavior and help explain how “grown-up” she is acting whenever she uses these tactics instead of hitting, kicking, or biting. And always reinforce and praise behavior when you catch your child being kind and gentle.
- Time-outs are OK. There’s also nothing wrong with using a time-out when your child’s behavior is inappropriate, and they can be used in children as young as one year old. See How to Give a Time-Out for more information.
- Control your own temper.Always watch your own behavior around your child. One of the best ways to teach him appropriate behavior is to control your own temper. If you express your anger in quiet, peaceful ways, your child probably will follow your example.
- Stay strong.If you must discipline your child, do not feel guilty about it and certainly don’t apologize. If your child senses your mixed feelings, he will convince himself that he was in the right all along and you are the “bad” one. Although disciplining your child is never pleasant, it is a necessary part of parenthood, and there is no reason to feel guilty about it. Your child needs to understand when he is in the wrong, it is important to take responsibility for his actions and be willing to accept the consequences.
What’s the difference between discipline and punishment?
While many parents think that discipline and punishment are the same thing, they are not.
- Discipline is a way of teaching and a way of enhancing a good parent-child relationship. When you discipline, you should provide your child with praise along with instruction in a firm tone, with the intent of improving his or her behavior.
- Punishment is a negative, in which you’re dispensing an unpleasant consequence when your child does or doesn’t do something. Punishment is a part of discipline, but only a small part.
Until age three and sometimes later, children simply don’t understand the concept of punishment. Setting limits is a much better approach than punishment; most children will respond to clear, calm, and decisive limit-setting.
Last Updated 12/5/2018
Source Adapted from Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5, 6th Edition (Copyright © 2015 American Academy of Pediatrics)
The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.
