By Claire Lerner and Rebecca Parlakian
My 15-month-old son has just started child care full time (he was going 2 days per week before). All of a sudden, the child who has been sleeping through the night since he was 6 months old is waking up twice! I thought he was already adjusted to child care. After all, he’s been at the same center for a year now. What can I do?
Toddlers love their daily routines. Any change in their life (new house, new baby, new dog, new child care provider) creates some insecurity as they depend so much on predictability knowing what to expect to feel safe.
Because young toddlers can’t express their very strong and complex feelings in words, they “tell” us how they are feeling through their behaviors. Night waking is a very common reaction to changes or worries. It’s very effective as it results in contact with you that reassures your child that you will be there to comfort him and that all is right in his world.
So, what to do about the nighttime wake-ups?
Establish a bedtime routine: quiet play, bath, books, songs, lights out. This helps your child know what to expect and to prepare, emotionally, for separating from you.
When your toddler wakes in the middle of the night, go in and pat him on the back or kiss him on the cheek to provide the reassurance he needs, then return to bed. Don’t pick him up or interact that’s likely to arouse him and make falling back asleep even more difficult.
Expect that he will protest and cry when you leave. If you keep returning to soothe him, he learns to keep crying out because it is so rewarding. He also doesn’t have the chance then to learn to soothe himself. If allowing him to cry makes you feel uncomfortable, peek in his room to let him know you are still there and reassure him that he is okay. But remember to limit interaction as much as possible as it will prolong the night wakings.
Keep in mind that research shows that letting a baby or toddler cry as they go to sleep does not have any long-term, damaging effects. A child who is well loved, nurtured, and responded to during the day will not be hurt by fussing a bit before bed in the evening. Remember: Crying at bedtime usually lasts for just a few days before your baby adapts and begins to put himself to sleep (provided you are consistent).
