From the beginning, you’ve considered your baby to be a unique person with specific character traits and preferences. She, however, has had only a dim notion of herself as a person separate from you. Now her sense of identity is coming into bloom. As she develops a growing sense of herself as an individual, she’ll also become increasingly conscious of you as a separate person.
One of the clearest signs of her own self-awareness is the way your baby watches herself in the mirror at this age. Up to about eight months, she treated the mirror as just another fascinating object. Perhaps, she thought, the reflection was another baby, or maybe it was a magical surface of lights and shadows. But now her responses will change, indicating she understands that one of the images belongs to her. While watching the mirror, for example, she may touch a smudge on her own nose or pull on a stray lock of her hair. You can reinforce her sense of identity by playing mirror games. When you’re looking in the mirror together, touch different body parts:”This is Jenny’s nose. This is Mommy’s nose.” Or move in and out of the mirror, playing peekaboo with the reflections. Or make faces and verbally label the emotions you are conveying.
As the months pass and your child’s self-concept becomes more secure, she’ll have less trouble meeting strangers and separating from you. She’ll also become more assertive. Before, you could count on her to be relatively compliant as long as she was comfortable. But now, more often than not, she’ll want things her own particular way. For instance, don’t be surprised if she turns up her nose at certain foods or objects when you place them in front of her. Also, as she becomes more mobile, you’ll find yourself frequently saying “no,” to warn her away from things she shouldn’t touch. But even after she understands the word, she may touch anyway. Just wait—this is only a forerunner of power struggles to come.
Your baby also may become afraid of objects and situations that she used to take in stride. At this age, fears of the dark, thunder, and loud appliances such as vacuum cleaners are common. Later you’ll be able to subdue these fears by talking about them, but for now, the only solution is to eliminate the source of the fears as much as possible: Put a night-light in her room, or vacuum when she’s not around. And when you can’t shield her from something that frightens her, try to anticipate her reaction and be close by so she can turn to you. Comfort her, but stay calm so she understands that you are not afraid. If you reassure her every time she hears a clap of thunder or the roar of a jet overhead, her fear gradually will subside until all she has to do is look at you to feel safe.
Last Updated 8/1/2009
Source Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5 (Copyright © 2009 American Academy of Pediatrics)
The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.
