At about the age of four and five, your preschooler also may begin to show an avid interest in basic sexuality, both his own and that of the opposite sex. He may ask where babies come from and about the organs involved in reproduction and elimination. He may want to know how boys’ and girls’ bodies are different. When confronted with these kinds of questions, answer in simple but correct terminology. A four-year-old, for example, doesn’t need to know the details about intercourse, but he should feel free to ask questions, knowing he’ll receive direct and accurate answers.
Along with this increased interest in sexuality, he’ll probably also play with his own genitals and may even demonstrate an interest in the genitals of other children. These are not adult sexual activities but signs of normal curiosity and don’t warrant scolding or punishment.
At what point should parents set limits on such exploration? This really is a family matter. It’s probably best not to overreact to it at this age, since its normal if done in moderation. However, children need to learn what’s socially appropriate and what’s not. So, for example, you may decide to tell your child:
- Interest in genital organs is healthy and natural.
- Nudity and sexual play in public are not acceptable.
- No other person, including even close friends and relatives, may touch his “private parts.”The exceptions to this rule are doctors and nurses during physical examinations and his own parents when they are trying to find the cause of any pain or discomfort he’s feeling in the genital area.
At about this same time, your child also may become fascinated with the parent of the opposite sex. A four-year-old girl can be expected to compete with her mother for her father’s attention, just as a boy may be vying for his mother’s attention. This so-called oedipal behavior is a normal part of personality development at this age and will disappear in time by itself if the parents take it in stride. There’s no need to feel either threatened or jealous because of it.
Last Updated 11/2/2009
Source Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5 (Copyright © 2009 American Academy of Pediatrics)
The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.
