By: Jason Rafferty MD, MPH, EdM, FAAP
Some children have a gender identity that is different from their gender assigned at birth, and many have interests and hobbies that may align with the other gender.
Some children, as the American Academy of Pediatrics explains, do not identify with either gender. They may feel like they are somewhere in between or have no gender. It is natural for parents to ask if it is “just a phase.” But, there is no easy answer.
Definitions
- Gender diverse:An umbrella term to describe an ever-evolving array of labels people may apply when their gender identity, expression, or even perception does not conform to the norms and stereotypes others expect.
- Gender identity:One’s internal sense of who one is, based on an interaction of biological traits, developmental influences, and environmental conditions. This may be male, female, somewhere in between, a combination of both or neither. Self-recognition of gender identity develops over time, much the same way a child’s physical body does.
- Sexual orientation: One’s sexual identity as it relates to who someone falls in love with or is attracted to. A person who is transgender still identifies as straight, gay, bisexual or something else. Like gender identity, an individual’s physical and emotional attraction to a member of the same or the opposite sex cannot be changed and is very difficult to predict early in childhood.
- Transgender: Usually used when gender diverse traits remain persistent, consistent, and insistent over time.
Accepting Your Child’s Gender-Diverse Identity
Research suggests that gender is something we are born with; it can’t be changed by any interventions. It is critically important that children feel loved and accepted for who they are. When disclosing their gender diverse identity, some kids might expect immediate acceptance and understanding. However, there is evidence that family members go through their own process of becoming more comfortable and understanding of a child’s gender identity, thoughts, and feelings. One model suggests the process resembles the stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance.
Just as gender diverse children do best when their feelings are explored and validated, some parents may need their own emotional supports. They may also have many questions along their child’s journey.
Last Updated 9/17/2018
Source American Academy of Pediatrics (Copyright © 2018)
The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.
