By: Jason Rafferty MD, MPH, EdM, FAAP
Parenting a gender-diverse child can leave some parents with a lot of questions and concerns for their child’s wellbeing. Research suggests that gender is something we are born with; it can’t be changed by any interventions. So, rather than predicting or preventing who a child may become, it is better to value them for who they are now, even at a young age. This approach fosters secure attachment and resilience.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents make their home a place where their child feels safe and loved unconditionally for who they are. Here are frequently asked questions from parents about topics related to gender identity.
Will my child grow up to be transgender?
- By preschool, kids start to recognize gender differences, both physically and socially. They also start to develop feelings, thoughts, and fantasy play that allows them to explore their gender. It is important to recognize that cross-gender preferences and play is a normal part of this exploration process, regardless of their future gender identity. However, research suggests that children who assert a gender-diverse identity know their gender as clearly and consistently as other kids do and benefit from the same level of support, love, and social acceptance.
It used to be the case that for children, gender-diverse assertions were seen as “possibly true” and not acknowledged until they were considered old enough to know for sure. This does not serve the child, because it increases discomfort without offering critical support and understanding. The best approach for parents is to love and appreciate their child as they are in the moment.
What caused my child to identify with a different gender?
- While we do not understand why some children identify as gender-diverse or transgender, research suggests that gender identity involves biology, development, socialization and culture. There is no evidence that parenting is responsible for a child having a gender identity that is not in line with his or her gender assigned at birth. Childhood trauma does not cause a child to become gender-diverse, transgender, or impact their sexual orientation. Variations in gender identity and expression are normal aspects of human diversity.
If a mental health issue exists, it most often stems from other factors, such as bullying, discrimination, and other negative experiences. Being seen as “different” is not easy, especially in childhood, and may contribute to teasing or bullying. If this is happening, speak with the child’s teacher and the school to create a plan to prevent bullying. The most important thing to remember is to support, love, and accept your child as he or she is.
Last Updated 9/17/2018
Source American Academy of Pediatrics (Copyright © 2018)
The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.
