By:Sarah S. MacLaughlin
Questions to Ask When Helping Children Learn to Sleep
Does the environment say “Sleep”?
Pay attention to your child’s sleep environment and bedtime routines. Is it adequately dark? Are toys covered or put away to reduce distractions? Is it fairly quiet? Is the TV off? If there is a nightlight, is it very dim? (Some recommend red as the best color to use). It also helps to have a predictable sleep routine your child can count on each night—such as bath, tooth-brushing, story, and special goodnight kiss—to cue your child that it’s time for sleep.
How do you help your child prepare for bedtime?
Let your child know when bedtime is approaching. Put on a timer to help your child prepare for the transition 5 minutes before it’s time to go to bed. It can also be helpful to create a ritual that signals a change, such as having your child “help” you switch off the light when it’s time get into bed. Creating a visual reminder of the bedtime routine can also work. Take photos of each step of your routine (bath, tooth-brushing, story, etc.) and put them up on the wall in your child’s room in order. Then point out the steps each night as you do them. Each of these strategies helps children begin to understand what will happen next, which can make bedtime easier.
(My son) goes to sleep by himself for his naps but he does not at night and if I get up he will wake up after half an hour and I have to lay with him again.
Sue in Costa Rica
What helps a child who has trouble separating at night-time?
Experiment with routines that help to ease separations: Try a stuffed toy or blanket as a transition object (for children 1-year-old and above); promise to come back and check in after 3 minutes for a last good-night kiss; or record yourself singing lullabies…switch them on as you leave the room. As a final send-off for older children, decide where the two of you might go during dreamtime that night, “Should we meet at the beach in our dreams? I will see you there.”
How do you set clear but gentle limits?
Be clear about the rules and expectations around sleep. Children whose parents establish and follow through on clear bedtime routines tend to learn to be good sleepers. Parents set the stage by making the expectations clear, “After bath, we will read three books, I will sing you a lullaby, give you our special kiss, and will say goodnight. Then I will see you in the morning.” Many young children use stalling tactics to delay bedtime—asking for snacks, water, and “just one more book.” When that happens, parents can matter-of-factly remind children of the routine (“We read our books and we sang our song. Now it’s time for bed. Do you want 1 kiss or 2 kisses?”) and stick to it.
