Actually, the normal interests of three-year-old will help keep fights to a minimum. They spend much of their playtime in fantasy activity, which tends to be more cooperative than play that’s focused on toys or games. As you’ve probably already seen, your preschooler and her playmates enjoy assigning different roles to one another and then launching into an elaborate game of make-believe using imaginary or household objects. This type of play helps them develop important social skills, such as taking turns, paying attention, communicating (through actions and expressions as well as words), and responding to one another’s actions. And there’s still another benefit: Because pretend play allows children to slip into any role they wish—including Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman, or the Fairy Godmother—it also helps them explore more complex social ideas.
By watching the role-playing that goes on during your child’s make-believe games, you’ll also see that she’s beginning to identify with her own sex. While playing house, boys naturally will adopt the father’s role and girls the mother’s, reflecting whatever differences they’ve noticed in their own families and in the world around them. At this age, your son also may be fascinated by his father, older brothers, or other boys in the neighborhood, while your daughter will be drawn to her mother, older sisters, and other girls.
Research shows that a few of the developmental and behavioral differences that typically distinguish boys from girls are biologically determined. For instance, the average preschool boy tends to be more aggressive, while girls generally are more verbal. However, most gender-related characteristics at this age are more likely to be shaped by cultural and family influences. Even if both parents work and share family responsibilities equally, your child still will find conventional male and female role models in television, magazines, books, billboards, and the families of friends and neighbors. Your daughter, for example, may be encouraged to play with dolls by advertisements, gifts from well-meaning relatives, and the approving comments of adults and other children. Boys, meanwhile, are generally guided away from dolls (although most enjoy them during the toddler years) in favor of more rough-and-tumble games and sports. Often, the girl who likes to roughhouse is called a tomboy, but the boy who plays that way is called tough or assertive. Not surprisingly, children sense the approval and disapproval in these labels and adjust their behavior accordingly. Thus, by the time they enter kindergarten, children’s gender identities are well established.
Children this age often will take this identification process to an extreme. Girls may insist on wearing dresses, nail polish, and makeup to school or to the playground. Boys may swagger, be overly assertive, and carry their favorite ball, bat, or truck wherever they go. This behavior reinforces their sense of being male or female.
Last Updated 11/2/2009
Source Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5 (Copyright © 2009 American Academy of Pediatrics)
The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.
